


Afterthoughts

by Egosumlux



Series: Unfinished [2]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 11:50:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11943570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Egosumlux/pseuds/Egosumlux
Summary: He woke with a start, blinking at the darkness of the room. Beside him Jack slept on, oblivious to, well pretty much everything. Last night had been terribly acrobatic, Jack showing off circus moves with Ianto playing the part of props. Maybe that was what had sparked the dream? Or were they memories?





	Afterthoughts

**Author's Note:**

> This story happens after In Memory Of.

He woke with a start, blinking at the darkness of the room. Beside him Jack slept on, oblivious to, well pretty much everything. Last night had been terribly acrobatic, Jack showing off circus moves with Ianto playing the part of props. Maybe that was what had sparked the dream? Or were they memories? He rolled to the side of the bed and stood, slipping on his pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt as it was quite cool in the room. He wondered where his slippers were but then remembered they’d been flung into the corners of the room with one possibly having ended up behind the bed. Jack’s, however, were right at the end of the bed, sitting neatly side by side because he never wore them claiming his feet never got cold. Ianto was pretty sure he was lying and was just trying to be more manly like it was a competition between them. Ianto didn’t care, he was a man and his feet got cold. Plus no matter how hard he tried to keep the floor clean there were always crumbs and other assorted flotsam strewn across the tiles courtesy of Jack and he hated having it stuck to the bottom of his feet.

He entered the kitchen, checking the time on the microwave as he passed. 5:15 a.m. Well, he could sit up for a bit and then go back to bed. It wasn’t like he had a job to go to in a few hours. No, his time back in the world after his death, barring one small incident involving one of Jack’s exes, had so far been one of indolence and sex. He decided to make tea, not really feeling up to the task of coffee and put the electric kettle on.  He went to the windows, looking out at the still sleeping city of Cardiff while he waited for the water to heat.

Little had changed in the 6 years he’d been dead and then in the two weeks he and Jack had spent with Jack’s Doctor. While Jack no longer seemed to question his reappearance, he still had lingering questions but really, what difference did it make that he was back?  He still felt like a leaf on the current, directionless and bound to end up snagged on a branch at any time but he was at least with Jack for however long that lasted. He was under no illusion that Jack would be around forever so he really should consider looking for work but how did one create a resume when the only job you’d really had was with a secret organization and your best skills were making coffee and killing evil aliens. Oh, and sleeping with the boss but he didn’t think that was really something a future employer would look for. He did at least have an ID and a miniscule bank account, set up by Jack because Jack was still on government paperwork while Ianto was for all intents and purposes dead.

He got his tea and took a seat at the small table, gazing down into it as though he’d be able to read his future in the brown liquid. He thought again about the dream, amazed he could still remember it since so many dreams evaporated the moment he woke with only tendrils teasing his memory. In it he’d been beside Jack, talking to what looked like fog behind glass and then he’d been on the floor, in Jack’s arms with Jack begging him to not leave. He had been crying as well, knowing it was futile and he was dying but he was talking to Jack telling him he would forget him in time. Was that his death? Had that been the 4-5-6? Torchwood unable to defeat mist?

He remembered many things from his time before his death but he’d never remembered the actual death except the part where he’d told Jack he loved him. He wasn’t even sure if he actually remembered the words coming out of his mouth or if he just had the feeling somewhere deep inside that he’d said ‘I love you’ to Jack. Not in love although that might have been the case, recognizing emotional things like that hadn’t really ever been his strong point. He knew he’d liked being with Jack and it went beyond the feeling of being special to a man for whom it seemed the world clamored constantly to gain his attention and he’d been the one it was focused on for a brief moment in time. It was still focused on him although he had no idea how he’d managed to keep it. He wasn’t interested in finding someone new, it just seemed like so much trouble and time he didn’t want to spend but who knew with Jack. After all, immortality was a mighty long time and he’d been gallivanting around the universe for ages before he’d even met Ianto.

He sighed quietly and took a drink of his rapidly cooling tea. Jack. He loved the man although there were times he wanted to push him off a building. He thought about the look he’d received when he’d said Lisa had been the last person he’d kissing when the team had been out in the Brecon Beacons. The slight hurt/but mostly anger at denying it had been Jack who’d given him his last kiss. Why had he lied about it? Well, he knew why. He’d still been angry at Jack and maybe slightly embarrassed about the event. What would the rest of the team think? Would they think Ianto was lying or maybe angling for special treatment. For fuck’s sake, he was just the coffee boy, what else could Jack have given him? He was good at what he did but definitely not leadership material. However, put Jack in a dangerous position and Ianto had certainly shown he had the balls to take on anything or anyone to save him.

It didn’t matter now. Jack had definitely been his last kiss and he’d never deny it. He knew he was Jack’s unless he’d left after Ianto had fallen asleep last night and kissed whatever passed him that early in the morning but that wouldn’t have happened because Jack had actually fallen asleep first. A rarity but Ianto liked when it happened, because he spent the time between Jack’s dropping off and his own eventual sleep just watching Jack. It made him feel like a bit of a creepy voyeur but he didn’t care. It wasn’t like Jack ever woke up and caught him or if he had he’d never mentioned it and Ianto knew the man wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to give him shit for doing it. He smiled and pushed the now cold tea aside, wondering if he should go back to bed but he wasn’t tired. Instead he wandered to the door leading out to the balcony and stepped outside. He shivered in the cool morning air but stayed out, wrapping his hands around the railing.

Cardiff, Torchwood, Jack, Owen, Tosh, Gwen, life and death. He wouldn’t give any of it up. Everything in his life had led up to this moment and he couldn’t think of anything he’d give back if asked. Well, the Cybermen, those he would have given up. Then he’d still have Lisa but there was a possibility that wouldn't have worked out. Torchwood One, he’d liked it there well enough and really, how would you explain Torchwood on a resume? He’d been pretty much stuck with this life the minute he’d been hired on. No, this was where he needed to be. Here with Jack or here alone if Jack decided to leave again either with his Doctor or with someone else he met here on Earth. There were no answers, no guarantees, no promises in life and he was, for the most part, okay with that.

“Ianto?”  He looked back to find Jack standing naked in the open doorway and God, the man was beautiful. “What are you doing out here?”

“I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep.”

“So you decided to stand out in the cold.”

“I was inside for a while, just wanted a look at the city.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“I wanted to be alone for a bit with my thoughts.”

Jack frowned.

“You aren’t thinking of doing anything crazy are you?”

“Like what, going vegan or maybe starting Torchwood up again?”

“Well, the first is a big hell no but the second, well, it’s not like we have anything better to do.”

“True.”

“And maybe, just maybe, there were some things that weren’t destroyed. We could go look.”

“We could.”

“But not tonight.”

“No, not tonight,” Ianto said, letting go of the rail and turning to face Jack, “can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“When I died…”

“Except that.”

Ianto ignored him, “did you ask me over and over to please not leave you? Was the 4-5-6 fog behind glass? Is that when I said I loved you?”

Jack shifted, clearly uncomfortable but Ianto knew Jack had always hated talking about the past, preferring to instead always look forward.

“Yes.”

“To which?”

“To all of it.”

Ianto nodded, it hadn’t really been a dream but a memory and he was sure there was more to it but he was satisfied for now. He wondered how many of his dreams had been memories surfacing instead. It didn’t matter, like Jack he preferred to only look forward now.

“Let’s go back to bed,” Ianto said, stepping forward.

Jack studied him for a moment and then apparently satisfied with what he saw, nodded and took his hand pulling him inside.

“By the way, are those my shoes?”

  



End file.
